The French existentialism edition

A few days ago I received an email from a contact from my school telling me she had found me lodgings in Sélestat. Since I got back to Canada I’ve been furiously searching the French equivalents of Craigslist for places to live in Sélestat and Strasbourg. When I first found out I would be in Sélestat, I was dead set on commuting from Strasbourg. It took me a while but I’ve warmed up to the idea of living in Sélestat, or at least realized it’s an experience I haven’t had yet and something I should do. By the time I received the email, I was worn down to a 50-50 for both and going to make the decision in the 9 day period between when I got to France and started work.

It’s times like these that (what I remember from) de Beauvoir’s writing about fearing freedom really rings true. I’m still afraid of making a decision; I’d rather put it off until it’s made for me. I’m really relieved that I have somewhere to go and there is someone to pick me up from a train station, but also, I’m a little disappointed at myself for not sucking it up and making a choice. Granted, I still have the power to make a decision. I could accept or I could refuse the housing and look for something in Strasbourg–either way it feels better when you have a back-up to refuse. It seems I can’t decide whether the wait-and-see attitude is cowardly or practical, but then what else is new?